


Shadow Needs

by NeverComingHome



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/F, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 22:14:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13109571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverComingHome/pseuds/NeverComingHome
Summary: It's important for heroes to never learn that a bad thing done quick doesn't feel bad at all.Altered universe in which Iris and Caitlin meet during college. Vague spoilers for season 4.





	Shadow Needs

**Author's Note:**

> Contains: biting, cheating, Frost powers during sex, unhappy ending

At university Iris unknowingly joined a journalistic feud between the The Central and The Scientific Herald. The Central came first, but a few of their writers became annoyed when the vast categories of scientific studies were relegated to one page squeezed between school politics and the weather. Unfortunately the leader of the campaign was the ex best friend of The Central's lead editor so instead of blossoming as an equal, but separate entity the discussion ended in both parties shouting "Bite me!" and Thus the Scientific Herald (or Herald for short) was born.

The rivalry was only skin deep and, while their peers generally didn’t pay attention to either, the two papers warred relentlessly(but without much venom) over readership, ad space, and achievements ranging from academic to personal. Iris didn’t learn about it until a year in when she had managed to secure a spot in the “Ask a Psych Major” advice column at which point she had long passed caring.

Then, much to the distress of The Herald, the Zeta Thetas (an aggressively vacuous fraternity known best for filling the bio lab with cows) were ridiculed by The Central as a living monument to the longevity of stereotypical and problematic frat boy culture. The other fraternities and sororities distanced themselves from the Zetas when gossip began to fly and, furious, the Zeta Thetas threw a fit by choosing Herald to advertise their pre-christmas party as an event to raise money “for science and science related things”. Herald quickly went to work legitimizing the event and the frat agreed that for every person dressed like a famous scientist they would donate an hour of their time cleaning local parks. Such a party thrown by a frat known for its relentless terrorizing of the STEM community forced to support it was too much for The Central to ignore.

“Why me?” Iris asked Megan, a photographer, who was assigned to the party as well.

“Honestly,” Megan pulled her chair closer to Iris, “Barry told Jake," she gestured to their boss, "that you haven’t been invited to a party yet.”

Iris’s fingers tensed a little and she stopped writing. “Well that is unprofessional. My social life should have no bearings on my position here.”

“I am right there with you, sister," Megan laughed, "but your brother has a big mouth and Jake thinks he's doing you a favor.”

“Loved your column last week, Iris!” Jake shouted from his desk on the other side of the room, both thumbs up. “Have fun at the party!”

* * *

 

It was for a good cause, that was what Iris told herself as she watched Megan casually snap a photo of three Marie Curies doing body shots off a half clothed Einstein.

“We are at peak journalism.”

“Truly. Martha Gellhorn wept.” Megan adjusted her wig. Fully indoctrinated against Herald she’d shown up dressed as a famous war correspondent as opposed to a scientist and was genuinely disappointed Iris hadn’t as well. Iris had insisted that parks were more important than a dumb vendetta, but Megan continued to side eye her as the night wore on.

“Who are you supposed to be again?”

“Alice Ball,” someone else answered, gesturing to the necklace Iris had spent over an hour making. Alice Ball was a scientist who found a way to make the oil of an otherwise problematic plant into an injectable cure for leprosy. She’d attended the university of Hawaii and Washington so Iris had made a lei of needle-less syringes with the miracle plant painted on the outside with purple and gold flowers for Washington to tie it altogether. It was a subtle touch added to an otherwise mundane outfit of a blouse and jeans. She hadn’t expected anyone to notice.

“How’d you know?”

“She’s a legend in the chemistry world. I’m Caitlin Snow.”

Iris glanced over the woman in front of her who was in a skirt and long sleeved shirt, her eyebrow raising a little, “Who is that?”

“OH, no, I am actually Caitlin Snow as in that’s my name. I’m not a scientist. Yet!”

She was cute if not a little a dorky. She gestured to the spot between Megan and Iris and took a seat when Iris nodded while Megan rolled her eyes and went off to take more photos. Caitlin was a friend of a Herald reporter sent to keep tabs on the party or, in other words, make sure they knew of any potential disasters as soon as possible to better spin it in their report later. A fellow classmate had tipped Caitlin off that said reporter was smashed and when she arrived he was drunkenly trying to convince a sober Jane Goodall that self awareness tests for robots were inhumane. When he got out of hand again Caitlin excused herself to coax him onto the lawn with two bottles of water and a promise to wait for the ride she called.

When Megan was clicking beer tabs more than she was clicking photos Iris confiscated the drinks she had and walked her to the lawn as well. When their respective charges were safely buckled in Iris held one of the cans out to Caitlin who took it. They went to the top of the staircase to commiserate about unappreciated scientists, settling into university life, the pros and cons of student run publications, and nosy bosses.

“I can't complain, it's not bad as far as first parties go.”

“This is your first?” Iris nodded. “I am so sorry, here I am rambling about school of all subjects.”

“Oh no! You’ve made this night...bearable.”

Caitlin smiled, curling a hair behind her ear and tapping her can against Iris’s.

“Cheers to bearable.”

It was lame that she wasn’t drunk and couldn’t look back on it as a blur of kisses and skin with no emotion except lust and a hint of queasiness. Everything that followed was clear and sharp. Iris hyped herself up with one last drink before kissing Caitlin while someone crawled beneath their locked lips to get past them and into the bathroom. They laughed, kissed again, moved against a wall and kissed some more. Iris put her hands up Caitlin’s shirt and Caitlin froze, but let her. Iris was used to being on the other side of this dance and kept waiting for Caitlin to stop her, say they barely knew each other or _I’m not that kind of girl_ , but she never did so Iris never stopped.

They had sex in a stranger’s bed, half remembering the other’s name. Iris called Caitlin ‘kate’ on accident at some point. Caitlin said ‘hey’ when she needed to get Iris’s attention. Otherwise they spoke only in moans, begs, demands. The next morning they kissed goodbye and Iris promised to call, but ended up staring at her phone for weeks, unsure of what to say. Over time she stopped wondering what to say and started wondering what was keeping Caitlin from calling her. The hold out petered off as school edged its way back into focus long enough for months to pass by.

The next time they met was in a bookstore and neither could recall if they’d sent any of those 3am texts deleted and retyped multiple times before falling asleep sitting up so they walked past each other with only a twinge of regret.

* * *

 

The next time Barry was in a coma and the time after that Barry was the Flash and on and on until Iris was engaged and Caitlin was asking the question Iris had asked herself years ago.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” she bit the corner of her lower lip, “fuck. I was younger? Barely out.”

“You said you’d call, but when I kept seeing you at parties I thought ‘wow, I'm an idiot’.”

“My friend dragged me to those parties when she saw how stressed I was.”

“I bet she dragged you on top of all those people you were kissing too.”

“Do you really want to talk about who has the moral high ground here?”

“No,” Caitlin gripped the desk behind her tightly, “but you were the last girl I ever kissed and sometimes when I look at you I can’t think of anyone else.”

"Neither can I."

Caitlin kissed Iris until she wasn’t against the desk, but on it with her legs parted enough to squeeze Iris against her, tight enough to tether her securely in the moment. Caitlin could feel white and blue rolling inside and through her. She yanked Iris’s hair back a little too hard and kept biting when Iris’s told her to stop or it would leave a mark. She flicked cold thumbs against warm skin and let rounded off icicles form in her hand to push between Iris’s legs when their positions were reversed and it was Iris stifling her moans into Caitlin’s shoulder. They came with the right names on their tongue and stared at one another as they put their clothes back on.

“I love Barry.”

Caitlin's teeth clenched to keep the sob out of her voice when she whispered, “I know.”

“You’ll be the last woman I ever kiss, Caitlin Snow.”

Caitlin thought of the night after they’d hooked up in college when she’d foolishly imagined Iris saying those exact words.

It wasn't the same.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be fluff. Ah, well.


End file.
